Time is passing slower and slower. Well it has been since Joy Camp last year! Last year's one month of holidays feels like its been a year...Weeks are becoming more like months. And to add to it, now that its school I only get online fun on weekends. That means I need to wait a month to touch facebook and to blog like this. =(
Why does time pass so slow? How come it used to be faster? Well I'm not really sure. Maybe it's because i think more? I imagine more things? Dream more? BIG MAYBE...
Alicia, if you're thinking what im thinking then yes, thats a BIGGER MAYBE...
Things have changed. Right this year, or in fact the ending part of last year, I stepped into a brand new environment. Not just school, everywhere. Something's just changed....SOMETHING....maybe its not the environment but me? Maybe I've changed? Everything just seems different. But change is nature so its expected...and I can't fully explain it as how I do to my imaginary someone at night, so well......
You have NO IDEA what im talking about, rite? Cuz neither do I!!!
Things have been like, blurred. I'm just plain confused, not sure about my own surroundings, not sure about what's going to happen, not sure what IS happening!!! I mean not just the part where you don't know which exercise ur teacher asked u to do, its more of among people.
What are people thinking now? What are they talking about? Have i offended them in any way??? How do they view me??? Why do i feel like an outcast even though ive done nothing exactly wrong? Why do i feel apart from others? Why am I so down over NOTHING!!! I mean i know we shouldn't be putting priority on how we look to others but still, perspective is important. That I've learnt, because it is. As christian witness other people's perspective is VERY important because we represent Christ.
I guess perhaps God is using this to show me something, put me somewhere, and I should just surrender myself to him and let his will be done in my life. But still!!! Why this down feeling after surrendering myself to him? Why? I WANT the ANSWERS!!!
Father God, show me the answers, in your time.
I guess if you've actually taken time to read all the way here, you're probably really not interested, very confused, not seeing any point in reading this, and will be pressing BACK to the page before in a few moments. Well, a blog is a place to pour out all your feelings, all your questions that you can share and that aren't too personal, so here it is. Whether you read or not, well, thats up to you. I'm just glad this is OUT OF ME!!!! ><
And the only saying that sort of keeps me going with some hope is what a really close friend once said, written below, reminding me of what GOD did for us:
"Today is the day! My God has given me a reason to celebrate!"
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